22 Oct 2010

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by JenniferTardy

“Everybody’s searching for a hero.” As I imagine the sound of Whitney Houston singing the lyrics to Greatest Love of All, I can’t help but to ponder the reality that there is (truly) an urgent need by every day people for heroes in our world today. And everybody’s searching for a hero.
And then I hear Whitney harmoniously sing, “People need someone to look up to.”
I begin to think that in a time long before this mass quest for heroes, leaders used to suffice. It was enough to have someone to look up to; a role model, per se. And I then wondered how we went from seeking leaders to searching for heroes, because the difference in that minor change in consciousness has severely damaged us. A leader guides and a hero saves.
And then again (in my mind) I hear Whitney singing louder than ever, “I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs. A lonely place to be.”
These lyrics remind me of how we have a tendency take every day individuals with leader-like qualities and turn them into saviors by idolizing them. We want them to be our heroes. We want them to solve our debt crisis, relationship problems, fill our voids, raise our children, and ease our pains. And every single day we are surprised that we are let down by these same public figures. They are being ostracized for having human flaws; for falling short of perfection. We want them to live up to our expectations and to be all that we need them to be. We want them to be everything that, ultimately, we should be seeking to be for ourselves.
This personal evolution in thought didn’t originate until I thought of Oprah. Those who know me know that I am (as well as millions of others) a fan of Oprah Winfrey. And from time to time, I research her experiences almost as if to confirm that I’m on the right track. After two recommendations, I did a particular search for Oprah’s 2008 commencement speech for Stanford college graduates. While watching online, I couldn’t help but to compare her and me. And by the end of her speech, I came to my lasting conclusion, “I don’t know everything, but what I do know for sure is that even Oprah Winfrey has cried.”
In a way, this is literal, but in its grandest perspective, it meant so much more. It means that Oprah, too, is no “more human,” than me. Here’s why:
Oprah, too, has questioned her own decision-making. Like me, she’s wondered if she’s made the best decision given the information presented to her. She’s lain awake at night before wondering if she should choose what feels right to her, or simply do what everyone else has recommended.
Oprah, too, has worried that she wouldn’t be taken seriously. Like me, she’s had concerns that someone wouldn’t see her as credible due to her age, race, gender, or any other factor outside of her control.
Oprah, too, has doubted her path in life. Like me, she’s wondered if this massive movement that she’s begun is truly for her to create and spearhead alone. She’s wondered if her vision was truly something that she could bring to life, or if she was merely a dreamer.
Oprah, too, has asked for forgiveness. Like me, she’s made mistakes. She’s learned, sometimes through trial and error, to make one decision over another. She’s had to apologize before, she’s had to correct herself before, she’s had to say, “I don’t understand” before, and she’s had to say, “I don’t know.”
Oprah, too, has been uncontrollably nervous. Like me, speaking in front of certain groups, talking about specific subjects, taking on new ventures, or even learning something new has not only seemed intimidating to her, but has even created slight anxiety for her. She’s experienced slight nervousness to extreme nervousness before. She’s even needed to be reminded (like I have) that she was actually good enough (i.e. smart enough, knowledgeable enough, or credible enough).
Oprah, too, has had an idea that’s failed. Like me, she’s made a suggestion that wasn’t, at first, accepted. She’s been told no before. She’s been rejected. She’s had to let go of ideas before. She’s vouched for programs, services, or products that weren’t successful before.
Oprah, too, has been uncertain. Like me, although there are many things she knows for sure, she’s still forever a student. There have been times where she’s had to do research beforehand, ask a question, say, “I’m not sure,” say, “I’m not positive,” and/or even recommend another person to answer a question instead of her.
Oprah, too, has been overlooked before. Like me, she’s been unknown before. She’s been told that she wasn’t ready or prepared. She’s been told that she wasn’t good enough. She’s come in second place before.
Oprah, too, has questioned her own credibility. Like me, she’s wondered if her advice was good enough. She’s wondered if she’s led someone down the wrong path, if she’s pushed someone too hard, or not hard enough. She’s wondered if she’s taught what’s correct. She’s even wondered if she’s conveyed her messages articulately enough.
Oprah, too, has cried. Like me, she has cried before because she’s been overwhelmed, she’s been under pressure, she’s taken on too much. She’s cried because of things she can’t do, things she wishes she could do, because of the people she can’t save, help, understand, reach, etc. She’s cried because she’s experienced the pressure in leading others—in being seen as a hero—when she knew that she was only human.
The point of it all is that I finally realized that Oprah is simply human. She is no more human than me. The only reason she is perceived as a hero is because she is now very successful, powerful, and famous with the ability to create the life she wants—instantly.
Which leads me to my conclusion—if our heroes are no more human than any of the rest of us, then what sets us apart from creating the lives that we’ve always wanted? The only difference between perceived heroes and everyone else is that [our perceived heroes] have continued to move forward with their goals, dreams, ambitions, and visions—in spite of it all. They’ve moved forward in spite of how uncertain they felt about themselves, their credibility, their worries, doubts, failures, nervousness, anxieties and their tears of overwhelming frustration. Ultimately, they progressed towards their dreams and passions in spite of themselves.
If we stay focused on our path of passion long enough, we are destined to evolve. And like Oprah states in her commencement speech, “we become more of who we are.” This means that we become more credible, less worried, nervous, doubtful, and overwhelmed. And this is the point when we’ve actually ARRIVED. And once you arrive, you’ll find your need for heroes will diminish. I’m a witness to that. You probably won’t even need a leader. What you’ll learn is that the lyrics to Greatest Love of All provide the answer you’ve always sought, “And so I learned to depend on me.”
Learn to depend on and believe in yourself and you will eventually become the hero you’ve always been seeking. In spite of it all, just keep progressing toward your dream.